It is Wednesday. I have resumed my daily routines. Yet, I have #baecation withdrawal!!!!
This past weekend my husband, Jelani, and I, checked ourselves out of the demands of everyday life and tuned into one other. We dropped our children to my beloved in-laws, turned on Bruno Mars’ 24K Magic album and started our #baecation. Despite my precision and organizational management overload, there were no solid plans in place. It was likened to a “let’s get in the car and just drive” type-of weekend. We just knew that we both needed a break from everything and wanted a few days to over indulge in each other’s company.
From noon on Friday through 2:00PM on Monday, we spent most of our time locked away in a hotel. I don’t even think our parents knew exactly where we were. Phones were placed on silent and all obligations were placed on hold. Outside of lunch, dinner and exploration at one of the coolest farmer’s markets, our activities were minimal. We simply lounged around in the comfort of our quiet and secluded hotel room. We binged on hours of Netflix comedy specials and the entirety of its’ new released series, 7 Seconds – which we HIGHLY recommend.
Three days of uninterrupted, endless conversation, laughter, and marital bliss.
On the last morning of our #baecation, I awoke at 6:30AM. Why? Why? WHYYYYY? Why is that when you’re on vacation, your body still wakes up early?? Forcing myself to stay in bed, I wrapped myself into the finely, chiseled arms of my husband and placed my head upon his chest. I could hear his heartbeat…and in that fleeting moment, all was perfect in my world………TAKE ME BACK!!!!!!!!!
As I cope with the “distant” memories of our baecation and manage my withdrawal, I am left with three reminders.
1) I need another BAECATION! ASAP! LOL! As soon as we checked out of that hotel and picked up our kids from school – life instantly resumed as normal. The floodgates of pediatric doctor’s appointment reminders, complaints of after school starvation, Black History month projects, emails, and texts were released. I immediately wanted to turn around, drive back out of town and recheck into our hotel. ROTFL! I love our kids and have a pretty cool life, but I absolutely look forward to the time that my husband and I can spend together. I enjoy my husband’s company and it is absolute necessity for us to make time for us!!!
As I think about my life growing up, I can only recall one married couple that consistently took time away from their lives to spend focus on each other. I hardly saw date nights or getaways. This is no disrespect or judgement to the couples in my family. I’m sure they all did the best they could, and it was possibly just their way of life. But, that’s not my life or my marriage. I know that need is a strong word, but I NEED alone time with my husband. Every opportunity that I can retain a reliable sitter or when our parents come into town, I’m planning a moment for my husband and I to hang out. I don’t care if we drive around the corner or sit in the Target parking lot to pass the time away. I need his undivided attention as he needs mine. I need moments of solitude, date nights, and romantic rendezvous. I need opportunities to let my hair down, let loose and be continuously reacquainted with Jelani and our marriage.
2)It is a priceless gift to be married to my closest friend. I sincerely appreciate my husband’s friendship. Don’t get me wrong, this journey called marriage is NOT easy. But despite the instances of miscommunication, disagreements, disappointments, and the fact we probably get on each other’s nerves, I could not imagine my life without Jelani. I could not imagine a life where we could not talk about everything from Jay-Z lyrics to being in the will of God. Or that I could not slide things in his DM or write our own verses to a few infamous challenges. LOL. I could not imagine being unable to text him my random thoughts throughout my work day or not being able to ask him to help me put my braids into one huge ponytail or “grease” my scalp. I cannot fathom a world in which we were just a husband and wife – a father and a mother – and not friends.
3) “We are far from perfect, but we are perfectly us.” I could never use another relationship, opinions, or the world’s standards to measure that which my husband and I have. Or that which we are trying to accomplish. Jelani and I are the only ones who will have to give an account to God regarding the stewardship of our marriage. Our relationship is what we make it and it is uniquely ours. Ultimately, the health and survival of our marriage depends on God’s grace, our daily decisions, and our work!
I wrote this caption for a 2017 Valentine’s Day post on Instagram. It’s a different year, but the words remain true. “Our love could never be fully defined or denied by any single moment, day or time. Complicated like Stevie Wonder melodies…. distinct like the taste of my mother’s cooked food …. contagious like a 90s hip hop beat…….intertwined like the most intricately woven fabric. He. Me. Us. We are a unique conglomerate of two lives that join to make an indescribable and perfectly balanced symphony. Love is he. Love is me. Love is Us.”
…….Cheers to my next #baecation!!!