Operator: This call is being monitored for quality assurance. Hello! Thank you for calling HYLA!
Operator: Yes, I extend my apologies, Ma’am. I should have explained the acronym. You have called Hardworking Yet Lazy Anonymous.
Me: Oh, yes. Umm my name is Margaret!
Operator: Hi Margaret, thank you for calling us today. How may I help you?
Me: Uhh… I heard an ad for your support group on the radio and I was wondering how I can sign up. I really need some help.
OK. OK. To my knowledge, there is no such organization as Hardworking Yet Lazy Anonymous. But I must confess. I, Margaret Louise Smith-Williams, am hardworking yet lazy.
(Yes, I said my full name. Even my middle name. Louise. My mother, Elouise, was committed to ensuring that I had an old lady name all the way through. I accept that. Took me a while. But I accept it. Especially, now, that I think about how it would sound to mix an old school name with a new school one. Margaret Janae?? Margaret Lakeshia?? Margaret Candice??? Nope. An old lady name all the way through works just fine for me. Margaret Louise. I accept that.)
I, Margaret Louise Smith-Williams, confess that I am hardworking, yet lazy.
Yes. I’m fully aware that this just doesn’t make sense. How can I be “hardworking” and “lazy?” These are two, opposite action words that aren’t usually combined. It’s impossible for someone to be both hardworking and lazy at the same time, right? Not exactly.
You see, I am undoubtedly a hard worker. Ask any one. My parents, husband, in-laws, sister, friends, past and present employers or clients. Everyone will agree that I am hardworking. I am efficient. I operate with integrity. I am reliable. I am diligent. I work in a spirit of excellence and I produce top notch, lasting results. I am one of a kind and to have me on your team is to have an irreplaceable, invaluable asset. Not bragging, all proven truth!
But I am also lazy! Not lazy with everyone else. Lazy with myself. And although, Hardworking Yet Lazy Anonymous, does not quite exist, this is where it would come in handy.
Operator: Hello, Margaret, are you still there?
Me: Yes, I’m still here…
Operator: Can you tell me a little more about why you think HYLA is for you?
Me: Ok….I am definitely a hard worker and I have the receipts to prove it. But I’m also lazy.
Operator: Can you expound just a little bit more? I just want to make sure we place you in a HYLA support group that fits your needs.
Me: Yes, I am lazy in my faith, diligence, self-control of all things relating to Margaret. Not Margaret the daughter. Not Margaret the wife, mother, sister, friend, or employee. I’m talking about Margaret. THEEEEEE MARGARET LOUISE SMITH-WILLIAMS. Margaret the person. Strip me of all those responsibilities and I’m lazy about me.
Operator: (Typing) Lazy in faith… diligence…..and self- control of all things relating to Margaret. What does that mean?
Me: Since I’m being transparent, I will say that I am lazy in my belief that God can do for me just as I’ve prayed and seen him do for others. I can believe for everyone else but I’m not as firm about believing God for myself. Faith, for me, is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes I can’t see pass the everyday responsibilities or the pertinent financial demands. Sometimes my perspective sucks and I’m pulled into this toxic ozone layer of unbelief. I find myself asking God, “Hey, God, It’s Me Margaret. Please, don’t forget about me!!”
Operator: So, you don’t believe in God’s promises or that He has something great in store for you?
Me: No, I believe. Of course, I believe!!! It’s just that sometimes I don’t really, REALLY believe…
Operator: I’m sorry, but I don’t follow. Margaret, either you believe, or you don’t. It’s just that simple. Let’s move on. Now you said, lazy in diligence? Tell me about that.
Me: I’m lazy in my diligence with everything concerning Margaret. I have a system. A solid schedule and system of strategies, checks, and balances for every other entity of my life. I follow through and execute at all costs. I don’t do the same with myself. I have dreams……some big and crazy dreams. They are in my head, in my heart, and on paper. But I need to be more diligent about making steps to achieve them. I must put in the work to make them a reality.
Operator: So, you don’t have a strategy or plan in place that causes you to produce personal results or be accountable for your dreams?
Me: Well, I have tons of ideas that I have written down. I even have a one year, action plan check list that I’ve created. I just need to focus and actually make some solid moves.
Operator: And, self-control? Do you lack self-control?
Me: Not self-control in the sense you think. I do not always exercise control in how much of myself that I extend to others.
Operator: So, what you’re saying is that you don’t know how to set boundaries?
Me: Hmmmm….pretty much.
Operator: So Margaret, after listening to your preliminary interview, I’m sorry to inform you that Hardworking Yet Lazy Anonymous is not quite the fit for you.
Me: WHATTTT???? I just spent the last 5 minutes pouring out my soul to you and you’re telling me that you can’t help me?
Operator: Yep. You don’t need our help.
Me: Well, obviously, I DO!!! Your radio ad clearly said, “Are you hardworking, yet lazy? We can help you! Call us now at 1-800-123-HYLA!” I’m hardworking! I’m lazy! And, I called you! So, what do you mean that I don’t need your help?
Operator: Margaret, I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. But you really don’t need our help. You seem to have answered your own questions. From my expert opinion, you aren’t lazy. You are afraid.
Me: Afraid?????? I’m not afraid. I’m only afraid of disappointing Jesus or my family, flying bugs and rollercoasters. I ain’t neva’ scared, tho!!!
Operator: Respectfully, you ARE afraid! You are afraid to place yourself and your dreams as a top priority. You are afraid to step out on faith. It’s actually a common problem amongst women. And there’s really a simple solution to that.
Operator: There sure is. But sadly, this is above my pay grade. If you don’t mind, I’d like to transfer you to HYATLYL department.
Operator: Hardworking Yet Afraid to Live Your Life. I will transfer you now. In case we are disconnected, the extension to that department is 3456. Thank you, Margaret for calling HYLA and I hope that you make the necessary steps to Live Your Best Life.
(Insert Phone Hold/Elevator Music)
Me: Hello….Hello???? Hello???
(Insert Dial Tone)
As we’ve already established, HYLA does not exists. But my laziness about me is real. Despite my profession, responsibilities, and all that is required of me, I must get out of this slump and get to work for me. No one else is going to go as hard for me as I go for myself. It’s just that simple. I must believe God, at all costs! Despite what I can see with my eyes or the emotions that I feel. It is an absolute necessity that I devote as much dedication, heart, focus, excellence and time into my dreams and God given abilities.
If not, life will continue to pass me by. And the only person I’ll have to blame is myself…THEEEE Margaret Louise Smith-Williams.
“Go to the ant, you sluggard!
Consider her ways and be wise,
Which, having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
Provides her supplies in the summer,
And gathers her food in the harvest.
How long will you slumber, O sluggard?
When will you rise from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to sleep So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, And your need like an armed man.”
Photo Credit: Lost Co.