“I’m Out!!”

Deuces 2016!! I’m out!! You have been “interesting” to say the least………….

I waltzed into 2016 optimistic, confident, strategically focused and ready to follow the “yellow brick road” to success. I was ready to “ease on down the road!” I can remember declaring, “2016 will be a year like none other! This will be my year!!!” I can even recall the article I wrote professing that 2016 was “The Year of My Return “..SMH…it should have been called the year of “you still don’t have the slightest clue.”

Contrary to the normal vision boards, Sallie Mae did not miraculously erase my student loan debt. I did not quit my day job and become an overnight YouTube sensation with a gazillion followers. Neither did the Lord whisper the Powerball numbers into my spirit or lead a random stranger across the world to deposit 1 million dollars into my bank account…LOL….

2016, in sum, was literally as if God himself slammed the brakes, kicked me out of the driver’s seat of my own car, forcefully put me in the backseat, buckled my seat belt and placed duct tape over my mouth. Every ounce of control I thought I had, was totally revoked. I was off my originally mapped course, the GPS app on my phone stopped working and I was far from my ultimate destination. But, I was right where He needed me to be.

For me, 2016 was not a year of success as I nor the world would define it. Instead it was a year of humility and breaking. Most importantly, 2016 was a test of faithfulness and has left me with 5 life altering lessons:

1) Every season is not always about success. Sometimes a season is about our ability to be faithful. In the words of Wikipedia, it is about “unfailingly remaining loyal to someone or something and putting that loyalty into consistent practice, regardless of extenuating circumstances.”

2) I must make faithfulness an absolutely, non-negotiable priority. I must be:
a. Faithful to God’s word
b. Faithful to the authentic version of myself, to trust my individualized journey and God’s specific instructions concerning my life
c. Faithful to believe God’s promises and that His timing is perfect
d. Faithful to keep my hands clean and my heart pure

3) Faithfulness is far more valuable than success. For success means nothing to God, if a spirit of faithfulness is lacking.

4) Faithfulness does not always feel good.

5) Exercising true faithfulness will always be a constant reminder that everything is not always about me, my human abilities or my ambitions.

I’m definitely not running into 2017, but rather I’m being carried on the wings of God’s infinite grace. On this 31st day of December, I am humbled, broken (in a good way), frazzled, exhausted and totally not where I expected to be. I won’t even pretend to say that I have a clue as to what 2017 will bring. But I will dare to say that in the midst of it all, I’m just a girl that’s walking a little bit closer with Jesus and a lot more “out of control.”

Leave a Comment